Posted by: lucylastic | October 20, 2011

Sensory overload in Las Vegas……….

This time last week I was in the Grand Canyon – or over it, or in the river at the bottom of it – the main things is, I wasn’t actually IN Las Vegas!  That’s not to say I wasn’t blown away by the beauty of the canyon, (although I was), but mainly because it offered a rare few hours of escape from the sensory overload that is Las Vegas. I can recommend Pink Jeep Tours if you ever want or need to escape from Vegas yourself http://www.pinkjeep.com/index.shtml

Our lovely, well-informed guide Brad made an already good trip better. I had originally blanched at the ‘suggested’ 15% gratuity, but by the end of the day, I felt he’d really earned it.

I had never been before – I won’t be going again. It was awful, dear reader – just awful – the ‘resorts’, (and sorry, but who came up with the term ‘resort’ to apply to a tacky hotel full of noisy slot machines and even noisier people) were like one long waking nightmare – if you couldn’t remember which hotel you were in, there were no clues to be had inside……………… A permanent twilight, no clocks, no identifying landmarks, just machines and tables and cigarette smoke, (never thought I would object to that) and people hell bent on losing their money – grasping on to the faint hope that they just might win big. Too many over helpful staff – where are you from? Swindon – never heard of it? Where are you going? As far away as we possibly can! Do you want a map? Only if it will help me to find a way home!

I do realise I’m turning into a right old ‘bah humbug, isn’t the world awful’ type of person. But this was everything I had been led to believe and more.

There were a few highlights – me and LH renewing our vows with Elvis, (don’t let anyone tell you he’s dead – he’s ALL OVER Vegas)! Tacky? Yes, indeed – but in a nice, unassuming, not pushy way. He was lovely, we were amused, our guests were thrilled. Shame LH left the camera at home……….Another highlight – and actually, the whole reason for the trip – the wedding of LH’s nephew S to bride B – in the Luxor Hotel Wedding Chapel – he looked uncharacteristically smart, she looked divine. 21 of us gave up a week of our lives to celebrate their nuptials and on balance, it was fun. ‘Big Elvis’ performing at Bill’s Gambling Hall – not one of the classiest places on the Strip by a long way – was just amazing – close your eyes and you could have believed it was Elvis for real – an uncanny sound-alike voice, (all his own, no miming here), he (Peter Vallee, as he’s rightly known) was a fabulous way to round off the week. If you are interested, he claims to be Elvis’s love-child, (based on a death-bed confession made by his mother). Who cares – he’s very entertaining and he’s free!

What else do we have to remember LV by? Old timer Elton John – his show ‘Million Dollar Piano’ at Caesars Palace (no apostrophes in Vegas) was pretty good, (if expensive) and he actually sounded pretty good too – better than I had expected; and Criss Angel’s show ‘Believe’ – illusionist and magician – let’s face it, when you’ve seen one lady sawn in half, you’ve seen them all; Criss was, to my mind, not a patch on my own favourite Derren Brown, we kept getting exhorted to ‘whoop’ and cheer and ‘make alotta noise’ – frankly, I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown by the time I came out – I had hoped to while away a couple of hours in relative peace and quiet………….with a chilled drink in my hand.  It was not to be.

Other than that, I didn’t like it 🙂

Bah humbug indeed.

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Responses

  1. I’ve been there two or three times with the annual sales & marketing conference…..the first time it was fairly gobsmacking, looking at all the “landmarks” and going to a couple of shows, but you’re right, once is more than enough! I remember going to lunch in “St Mark’s Square” and being asked if we wanted to sit outside! Another thing that cracked us up is the sight of the many oxygen bars, intended to revitalise weary gamblers. But in reality, because we tried it, just another scam.


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